10 Signs You’re a Certified Spare Human

If you’re a cat parent who pays rent just so your feline overlord can enjoy the best sunbeam in the house—you’re not alone.

At Spare Human Society, we celebrate the unsung heroes of the cat world: the Spare Humans. We’re the back-up caregivers, the treat givers, the accidental footrests. And while we may not be the favorite human, we’re still on the team—and proud of it.

Wondering if you qualify? Here are 10 signs you’re a Certified Spare Human.

1. You Sleep on the Edge of the Bed

Despite owning a perfectly spacious bed, you find yourself clinging to the edge while your cat enjoys the premium center real estate. Their comfort? Non-negotiable. Your spine? Optional.

2. You Spell “T-R-E-A-T” Out Loud

You’ve become fluent in spelling, because certain words spark chaos. Whether it’s “treat,” “vet,” or “carrier,” you now communicate like a secret agent in your own home.

3. You’ve Apologized to a Cat—More Than Once

Stepped on a tail? Didn’t feed them exactly at 6:00 pm? You’ve said “I’m sorry” with sincerity—maybe even tears—while your cat stared at you like you ruined their whole life.

4. You Wait to Move When They’re Sleeping on You

Your leg’s asleep and you’re late for a meeting, but your cat just settled on your lap. So you sit… quietly. Frozen. Because clearly, they come first.

5. Your Camera Roll Is 90% Cat Photos

You might have a few pictures of friends or family—but mostly, your phone storage is filled with blurry zoomies, toe beans, and majestic side-eyes.

6. You Buy Pet Furniture That Matches Your Aesthetic

You’ve rejected furniture that doesn’t “go with the cat’s vibe.” Bonus points if your living room design centers around the cat tree.

7. You Cancel Plans for Your Cat

You’ve turned down brunch because your cat was snuggly. You’ve skipped an errand because they looked “extra sad” when you grabbed your keys.

8. You Accept Being Judged Daily

You’ve been side-eyed for coughing too loud, closing a door, or blinking the wrong way. You accept the judgment with pride. After all, you live to serve.

9. You Translate for Them Constantly

“He’s hungry.” “She’s mad I moved her blanket.” “That slow blink means she forgives me.” You’ve become your cat’s personal translator—and you take the job seriously.

10. You Wear It Proudly

From “Certified Can Opener” shirts to “Spare Human” mugs, you wear your role like a badge of honor. Because if you’re going to be the backup human, you may as well be the best one.

Are You a Certified Spare Human?

If you nodded along to even one of these signs, congratulations—you’ve earned your title.

😸 Shop the Spare Human Tee Collection to make it official.

📣 Got more signs? Drop yours in the comments or tag us on Instagram @sparehumansociety. We love hearing from our fellow cat parents!